Months are passing by like blinks, barely thought about, yet each acquiring more knowledge, more information, more visual delight than I can process.
My cousin’s traditional Polish wedding (congratulations!!) meant a weekend full of festivities, friends, food and vodka. And family – a massive reunion which once again showed me that no matter how little we see each other, and how little we know each other now, somehow, when we get together, it’s like I never left. We’re family, and there’s a comfort, a security, and an acceptance that comes with that that I’m fortunate to experience every time.
Another blink and I was off to Israel, an opportunity from Florence that I jumped on immediately. But, for the first time, I was afraid of traveling somewhere: everyone’s fears, worries, subtle questions and misguided jokes continuously weighed down on me. Even as my gut screamed ‘go!’ I had to wrap my head around going to a country that is threatened, to put it bluntly though perhaps inaccurately, to be wiped off the map.
And then there was the internal struggle of figuring out what I need in order to feel grounded and “at home” no matter where I am. I thought I was doing quite well living out of a carry-on and not even thinking about it until I realized not thinking about it was just a form of denial. Not having a space that’s completely my own (one that isn’t utilized daily by news/sports/movie watching adults and xbox/computer playing children) is tough, and feeling like I can never really relax is draining. Of course I’m eternally grateful for the room and the roof over my head, but, needless to say, I’ve started meditating again.
And so five months have gone by.
More blog entries (Israel. Gdansk! ROME!!) are sloooowly on their way (I swear!)…and then I’m on my way, again.